By Anita Shakya
Sometimes when we are tired, or low or vulnerable we might want to vanish or take the back road. No one wants to be seen making a mistake or not having all the answers. We value being respected and work hard to maintain the illusion that we have it all figured out.
When things get tough, we bargain with ourselves. But, as professionals, we all have a small voice in our head that affirms that questions can be answered and challenges can be overcome. We have learned that we can do the things that make us uncomfortable and have proven it time and time again- we have built resilience and self belief.
How did we get that “voice”? Opting-out is human nature, our brains are trying to protect us from potential danger. But we have been guided by community, or even just that one person, to take a chance, to the point where, whatever it is, it no longer feels risky. For our students, that can sometimes be the classroom where due to pride or fear or any other factor, our students sometimes want to act in avoidance and be invisible: but our role is to see them.
Challenging our students to be present, focused and learning is such a small thing but is probably what has the biggest impact over time. Whether it be from continuously correcting uniform, not taking “I don’t know” for an answer, or refusing to let them sit quietly on the sideline and not write in their books, we communicate that every student matters, in every moment.
What does this look like?
Pay attention to the little things. If we can opt out of not being dressed and prepared then the foundation for the rest can go to the wayside.
Normalise struggle. Talk openly about how learning feels uncomfortable sometimes — that “I don’t know” is the start of learning, not the end of it. Use your own mistakes as examples of growth where relevant and appropriate
Always come back to the question. When a student says “I don’t know,” acknowledge it, give a scaffold, and come. “Okay, think about what we just discussed — I’ll come back to you.” This reinforces accountability and belief in their ability to contribute.
Provide entry points for success. Ask questions that meet students where they are, then build up to higher-order thinking. Even a small success early in a discussion can reignite participation and confidence.
Use peer support wisely. If one student is stuck, invite another to model the thought process, then return to the first student to complete or summarise. This keeps them part of the learning flow rather than letting them disengage.
Be positive and empathetic. Use tone and body language to communicate belief: “You’ve expressed this so well before.” “Let’s figure this out together.” Over time, students internalise that confidence.
Celebrate effort, not just answers. Publicly notice persistence, risk-taking, and curiosity. This helps redefine what “success” looks like and lowers the stakes of participation.
When we refuse to let students opt out — consistently, and with care — we become that voice of encouragement that helps them build the same resilience we’ve developed as adults. It’s not about catching them out; it’s about bringing them in — in the act of trying, thinking, and learning.
Our persistence teaches them that learning is not something to escape from, but something to step into and that it is achievable for everyone.
